SE-NSE Forums:

It’s not been long since my last post, but that was late so this one is on time and it’s been another exciting week in the world of Sony Ericsson! We had the financial results for 2009, Vivaz and some confusion over the X10. We all knew about Kurara of course, but it was nice to finally see it made official, the name though … Vivaz? Sounds a bit like a character from a Spanish soap opera or maybe a washing powder. Will you be taking the Vivaz Doorstep Challenge?

The X10 was also causing a bit of head scratching in some circles with the camera and proximity sensor apparently missing (or covered up) on the Japanese version. So what’s the script? I don’t know, but I have a theory … cost cutting! Sony Ericsson have been trying to save some money recently and so they’ve decided to remove these two features. The forward facing camera won’t be replaced by anything; in a ground breaking piece of market research Sony Ericsson have discovered that no one really uses video calling and they’re just hoping no one actually notices the camera is missing. As for the proximity sensor that will be replaced by a small pin that stabs you when the phone gets close to your face to remind you to lock the screen. Just a theory, you have to want to believe.

The financial results weren’t too hot. Last year saw Sony Ericsson register a pre-tax loss of more than a billion euros. Sony Ericsson themselves are blaming poor sales and a contracting global phone market. Some people are pointing fingers at certain areas of their portfolio as lacking exciting products that can compete with competitors. However, I have to confess something … the loss is my fault. At Christmas I accepted a free advent calendar from Sony Ericsson. I can only begin to imagine the serious economic damage giving me this freebie must have caused them and I am ridden with guilt. I am here publicly offering to post the calendar back to them (with the chocolate still inside) and I will cover postage as well!

Mooooo!

A bit late this week I know, but I’ve been a very busy cow over the past 7 days! Let’s take a stroll through what I’ve been up to …

Of course we were upgrading the forum this past week! Why are we upgrading? Well most of you probably think that it’s to introduce new features and make the forum faster. Nothing could be further from the truth. You see, Ixalon, our man at the controls, is a really good programmer, but he really needs to fix bugs every once in a while and quite simply our previous version of IPB didn’t have enough for him so we had to introduce a whole new set of bugs! You should have seen his little face light up in delight when he saw all the new bugs! scots’, always generous, has been compiling a big list of even more bugs for him so he’ll be happy for weeks to come! (Btw if you are wondering why there isn’t a Mooo! button on the forum it’s because the admins don’t listen to me.)

It’s been a bit of a quiet week for Sony Ericsson, but finally some good news for a change! Their market share in the UK is up! What they didn’t tell you is that is because they have adopted a new selling strategy. Bert Nordberg has hired a transit van and has been touring the UK selling Satios from the back of it. You might have spotted him at your local market in a flat top cap and sheepskin coat with his distinctive selling pitch “Satiooo! Satiooo! Three for a fiveeer! Get your Satiooo ere’”. It seems to be working well. See, we told you Bert would kick some ass!

We also had Faith making an appearance on the tubes. Now let me just say that I know there are already lots of qwerty devices on the market from Samsung and LG and yes I know that Windows Mobile has all the sex appeal of an octogenarian in suspenders and heels and yes almost everyone who has seen it has been violently ill (this clip illustrates it well), but I am not going to criticise it. I am going to be different. I am determined to say one nice thing about it. Let me see … oh I know … it has a white keypad, which will match the white curtains I have in my cow shed (I may be a 2,000 lbs cow, but I do like the place to look nice).

Well that’s all for his week folks! Mooooo!